Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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