Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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