so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
