its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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