my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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