Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
