Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
