We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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