let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
