in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Found the puke drawer
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
