Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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