You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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