there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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