Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
