I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Randomize
