Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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