White coat. Heels.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
