I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
