People in love make me want to vomit
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
