My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
