Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
