I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
