The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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