i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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