mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
