from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
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