I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
