i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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