I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
