i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
