I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
