my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
