We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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