Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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