Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
