lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
