I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
