I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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