Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Randomize
