I feel great
I just peed on a car
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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