i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize