a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
