The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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