we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
