yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
