Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
