OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
