How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
