I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
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