Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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